May. 22nd, 2010

simple_gnommish: (stressed)
When I'm bored, it usually means that I've got no inspiration to do anything. But sometimes, it happens that it gives me inspiration to write. Even so, it's kinda difficult when next to you, two ten-year old girls are being noisy and playing when you want them to shut up so you can be able to sleep.

So yeah, I'm here, wanting to write, but unknowing the subject. Doesn't it happen to you ever? I constantly suffer from that sensation, usually without the two girls. I've decided something. When I'm feeling like that, I'll let my mind flow, let the words come out. And God knows, maybe something good will come out of the moment.

 Writing. Among my friends, I've got at least two writers. Really good writers. And that makes me wonder: Am I a good writer as well? Or perhaps I've lived almost a decade believing my writing was worth praise, when the truth is other. Sad, but it's really a sign that my self-steem is still low. 

Those moments don't last, because another thought soon fills my mind. I'm driven by pure laziness. I don't even try, because I'm too lazy to do it. I don't write because I don't want to think. So perhaps, I'm good, but due to the little practice, and fault of my own material to compare, I end up feeling subpar to my writer friends. 

I should take a challenge. Always writing when I'm inspired, and if I don't find a theme, just let the words flow, as today. Soon, at least, I'll have a diary of my thoughts. Perhaps I could understand me better then. 

Really, now that I think about it, here on LJ I usually refrain me from posting ideas that when they occurred to me were fabulous because I end up thinking it will not interest anyone and will only serve to fill the Friends Page of my flist. Yeah, I should not listen to that part of me, right? Especially because it used to be different, I used to don't care about it. If I do that, I'll write more, about life, fandom, everything. Let's think it as a goal, right, me?

And sadly, the bright moment ended. Two ten-year old girls is too much for me.


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